Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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