What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
