I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
