Dual....:-)
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
