yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
