Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
