Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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