atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
