Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
