Sponge bath it is.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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