I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
