just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
