went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
