I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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