I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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