I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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