yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
