Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you win again, gameday.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
