ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
