Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
