Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
