Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My feet surprised me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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