He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
