Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
