Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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