will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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