I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
