This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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