Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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