Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize