I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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