So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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