I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
