She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
