my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
