dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
