You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
