I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
