I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
