Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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