pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
