i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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