so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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