im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
