I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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