He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
