Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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