Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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