I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Where is the hickey?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
40s are totally the cure
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
