let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
