I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
