I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
