i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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