i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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