Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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