I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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