sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
