I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
