David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
