Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
