didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
